If You See Something, Say Something

Is it just me, or do we need more people willing to tell strangers things like, “Hey lady, you have a giant booger clinging onto your nostril for dear life“? 

Speaking of strangers – I recently had a tight connection at the Minneapolis airport. After I got off the plane from my first leg I did a light jog to the bathroom, and then a bit more intense cadence to my gate just to be safe.

I actually had enough time to buy a $12 Cinnabon. Those are so de-lish-us. I then stood in the First-class line, because I’m fancy like that, and I can’t say I was exactly hating the jealous stares I was perceiving.

Once I boarded, I was helping a little old lady get her bags in the overhead compartment when I heard a petite voice saying, “Psst… ma’am, psst… ma’am, ma’am!”

I thought I somehow violated some FAA, TSA, or AARP law and that I was about to be tackled by an Air Marshall… which isn’t how I wanted to get under an Air Marshall, if ya know what I mean (wink, wink.)

As I braced for impact, the psst-ing woman grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear “Ma’am, you have a toilet seat cover hanging out of your pants.”

Now mind you, I was in an airport in Minnesota, considered perhaps the nicest state in the entire universe. I PASSED God knows how many people after the bathroom, STOOD in line at the Cinnabon place, ORDERED one and was SERVED by someone who SPECIALIZES IN BUNS! HELLO!

I then STOOD in the First-class line, all fancy like, swiped my boarding pass with a gate agent and was GREETED BY THE flight attendant AND THE PILOT! And the 257th person to see me like this is the one who tells me?

So I did what any person of dignity like myself would do, and said to her in the snootiest accent I could muster out of my face, “Oh, honey. Wearing seat covers is VERY “in”. They’re all the rage in New York, especially at the thee-AT-ter”

And did not remove it and sat right down in my First-class seat and ordered champagne.