If you’re of the mindset that Facebook isn’t very secure – read on:

Everyday millions of users across the globe access Facebook. Facebook’s mission is to give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected. It’s a great social outlet as well as platform to build, maintain or grow a business. Yet despite all the wonderful opportunities Facebook affords people from all walks of life, there is still a segment of people who aren’t on Facebook.

For those who aren’t on Facebook, the most common reason they tell me why they haven’t jumped in is because “I heard Facebook isn’t very secure.” To that I say – you are operating from a point of misinformation and/or misunderstanding. Out of all the places you can be on the web, Facebook is one of the most secure. Or it certainly can be one of the most secure social media sites – providing you edit your account and privacy settings so that no one has access to anything you post or do, unless you explicitly give permission.

No I didn’t drink the koolaid. I know of what I am speaking.

I recently attended a Conference on Crimes Against Women where I met with Genevieve Ovalle, who is a Law Enforcement Response Specialist for Facebook Security. I am more convinced than ever than FB is one of the most secure social networking sites you can be on. Again, let me say that if you’ve heard horror stories about personal information getting out, it’s most likely because the user did not properly protect his/her personal information with the privacy and account settings or he/she just merely willingly shared far too much than the public needed to know.

Did you know that Facebook regularly cross references their member list with each state’s registered Sex Offender registries? Then they deactivate those accounts? Did you know that they respond to all reports of cyber bullying within 24 hours – usually within two hours? They take the safety of their users very seriously.

So if you don’t choose to use Facebook, that’s certainly your option. But if you’re staying away because you think it leaves you too vulnerable, then that is an inaccurate statement. If you have questions about how to properly set your privacy settings or how to block certain individuals or limit who sees your posts, photos and information visit FB’s security page – as it’s loaded with practical, easy to use tips. I’m certainly happy to help you too.

Security and database breaches are on the rise. From healthcare to game companies to trusted third-party security firms, a number of significant breaches were reported in 2011. This year alone millions of records were compromised at the hands of: Comodo, RSA, Epsilon, WordPress, Sony, Citibank, CyWorld, Tricare, Facebook, Steam; even the US Government Office of Personnel Management lost accountability of records containing the most personal information on US citizens. Unless you remain vigilant you may not even be aware that your personal information has been compromised.

Whether it happens at the hands of gross negligence, incompetence or some tragic accident, it’s important to remember that much of the security and database breaches involved minor children. Names, dates of birth, sex and social security account numbers of children were also included in some of the records that were lost. Sadly, child identify theft is more than a hypothetical crime. It is a very real crime with very real and long lasting negative effects. Without taking some simple precautionary measures the same can happen to your children.

The Most Important Piece of Information Needed to Steal Someone’s Identity

One of the most important pieces of information a thief needs to steal someone’s identify and send a life into a tailspin is a Social Security Account Number. A child’s SSN is a thief’s Coup-d’état, because misuse has an increased probability of going undetected for years.  The underlying reason why social security account numbers have become so valuable for stealing one’s identity—aside from the convenience—is that the database is astronomical in scope and is individually unique.  Armed with this personalized number, a thief can reap rewards and ruin the credit histories of unsuspecting victims in a seedy con-game that knows no boundaries.

Unfortunately, thieves don’t have to look very far for a new SSN. Virtually all local, state and federal agencies use it as a means of identification, as do all three major credit reporting agencies, and given the culpability that these agencies bare for known breaches, the magnitude of the threat are quite clear.  The broad-ranging scope of these bureaucracies is massive and for this single reason you must be on constant guard to protect your family’s SSNs from compromise.

Protect Your Children

In your role as a parent you are duty-bound to carefully read over forms that you prepare on behalf of your child. Make a well informed decision on whether or not the information requested is mandatory for the services you seek, or required when granting parental consent.  One strategy that often goes unchallenged is leaving the space blank.  If that doesn’t work, ask why the information is needed and how it is used, and equally important ask how it is protected. Don’t accept the first response as absolute. Continue with probing questions to the point that you exhaust all doubt before releasing your child’s personal data. Protect your child’s social security account number with the same ferocity that a momma grizzly protects her cubs from circling wolves.

Safeguard other bits of information that would be useful to an identify thief, as well.  Your child’s middle name, date and place of birth, address; any personal information should be closely held. Shred everything that has this information imprinted on it. While these may seem like tidbits, they are akin to the first cuts that ultimately produce a gem in the hands of someone out to steal your identity and cause costly damage to your credit, and dim plans for fostering a bright future for your child.

This is especially critical as it relates to your older children using social networking sites such as Facebook. It saddens me when I see kids (some parents are guilty of this as well) posting picture of themselves in their athletic or band uniform. Now another piece to an identity has been made known – what school the child attends. Furthermore, some well meaning parents allow their child to have a Facebook page “so long as you don’t use your full name.”  So instead of First and Last name being listed on the profile, only the child’s First and Middle names are used.  Again, another dangerous faux pas that provides yet another piece of personal information – the middle name of your minor child – which should be well protected.

Monitor Regularly

It’s important to regularly monitor your child’s Social Security Number. You can get free copies of your child’s credit report each year. There are also various companies that monitor this for you. They constantly scan for alerts and activity associated with your child’s name and or SSN. Most third party vendors charge a nominal monthly fee for this service. It is certainly worthwhile if you consider the potential damage identify theft can cause.

It’s also a wise idea to set up a Google news alert on your child’s name. That way you can keep tabs on what others may be saying about your child or what activity is surrounding that particular name. My kids get a kick out of it because we get email alerts on their names, and clearly it’s a different person with the same name. If there was something that appeared fishy or out of the norm, I could investigate it at the time it happens, rather than be surprised years later. It gives an added peace of mind knowing you’re not living with your head in the sand as to what possibility could be occurring with your child’s identity.

Finally, be on constant alert for unsolicited mail that arrives at your home addressed to your minor child.  This should immediately set off alarm bells.  You should have very serious concern about an airline sending information to your six year old about the benefits of its Frequent Flyer program, not to mention department store advertisements, magazine subscriptions and bulk item junk mail.  This is a clear indication that your child’s identify is being misused.

The motto “To Protect and Serve” may have been originally coined by law enforcement officials, but it is also applicable to all parents today as it relates to their child’s identity – to protect their precious nine digit social security number and serve as the front line of defense by regularly monitoring it for unscrupulous activity, and keeping the light on for a bright future.

About the Author:  Laurie Ayers is a mom, speaker, author and personal safety and crime prevention specialist who has given seminars in schools, organizations and corporations. Her message is inspiring, humorous and empowering, delivering the importance of making wise choices to protect ourselves and those we love.  She is an active contributor on the subjects of preventing abduction and crime avoidance.  She holds a Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and is the co-founder of Defensive Countermeasures Institute. You can connect with Laurie at Ayers on the Side of Caution.

Your home is supposed to be your haven – the structure that keeps you and your family safe and protected. It’s the place you retreat to after a long day, the shelter that keeps you protected from the elements of unpredictable weather patterns and it’s the refuge where you can lock your doors and know that you and your family members can peacefully rest your head for the night.

1. Evaluate your lighting

Employing light properly is one of the most economical and effective ways of increasing safety and security around your home.  To determine if lighting around your home is adequate, evaluate your current situation while in total darkness.

• Start by walking around the perimeter of your house at night. Before you go outside make sure all your inside and outside lights are turned off. The purpose of this stroll is to help you identify shadows and blind spots on your property that occur naturally at night.  If you have someone to accompany you on this walk-around, have that person take some notes.  Many cell phones are equipped with a feature that lets you audibly record your notes.  Be sure to look at the areas surrounding doors, first floor and basement level windows. Then look for line of travel one would take when approaching your home from the street and also assess bordering property lines.  Garage, shed or other outbuildings also warrant a review. Record your observations you see when looking toward your home as well as away from it, as if looking out from a window. From the standpoint of keeping intruders out, what areas require the most light?  Do you need to add any accent lighting?

• Finish this lighting evaluation from the inside.  For this evaluation, upon entering your home, turn lights on as you would normally after returning at night. The goal with this is to ensure that your lights illuminate deep into the room.  You should be able to immediately tell if any of your contents have been disturbed, which could indicate a sign of an intrusion.  Avoid a situation where you walk in and flip a switch that turns on a light immediately above you, resulting in the rest of your home still in the dark. If there is an intruder inside, you’ll be at a disadvantage with this lighting setup. Rearranging your light setup may require you to hire an electrician to install a wall-switch that controls lamps located further in the room.  If you have multiple levels, have your electrician install wall switches on the upper floor that allows you to turn on lights on the levels below.

Lighting is an often overlooked element of security that can be particularly useful when investigating ‘bumps’ in the night.

2. Landscape with an eye on security

Another point to consider is landscaping. For homes with plants and bushes situated within three to four feet from the foundation take a look at the clearance height measured from the bedding to the base of the foliage.  It is essential to keep this area neatly pruned, free of mulch and other clippings to ensure a minimum clearance of 12-18 inches.  Overgrown landscaping provides a means of concealment for anyone with ill intent. For homes where new landscaping is to be added, consulting with professionals can help to make certain your plant selections not only meet with your esthetic vision, but add to the security of your home as well.

3. Ensure your home looks occupied

Does your home look lived-in? Or does it give the appearance that it is unoccupied? For example, keeping curtains drawn at all hours of the day is unnatural.  Letting the outside light into your home is a great way to demonstrate your home is thoughtfully looked after.

When shopping for window treatments, consider a layered approach. Each set of blinds, curtains or draperies should hang on separate rods so they act independently.  During daylight you can open the heavier draperies, but draw sheer curtains closed. This way you maintain a level of privacy, preventing passersby from peering into your home. You are also able to look outside without approaching the window too closely. During evening hours, you can draw the draperies completely closed for added privacy. Your home will have stunning curb appeal, it will look occupied and the window treatments will help keep your home cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter.

4. Remove yard clutter daily

There is nothing more telling about the occupants of a home than what can be seen in the yard. Your home may have a basketball hoop in the drive or a semi-permanent play set in the yard. From a safety standpoint these items should always remain tidy and safe for child’s play. Put away playthings each time they are no longer in use and pull them out when needed. In the lazy days of summer it’s easy to convince yourself that balls and other toys will be used again the next day, so leaving them out overnight should be okay. Perhaps they may not be stolen; but nonetheless leaving them out is an unsafe practice.

While it may be unpleasant to think about, no segment of our communities are safe from child sexual predators. It is a parent or adult guardian’s responsibility to practice safe routines and develop protections for children.  A simple step that every parent can take to protect children is to ensure their playthings are put away daily.  These include all items that can be removed from public view: tricycles, wagons and other small and portable toys.  Children will often remove items of clothing such as sweaters and shoes as they go about exploring their world.  These items not only signal that a child lives in your home, but may also indicate a child’s age group. Remaining mindful of this simple precaution will aid in keeping your child safe.

And it doesn’t stop there. Here in the mid-west—as well as other parts of the country—deer hunting has a large following. During the off-season sportsmen will often set up 3-D foam targets as a means of keeping their marksmanship skills sharp. When these ‘targets’ are left standing for long periods of time they indicate the likelihood that firearms or other high-dollar hunting instruments are stored on the property.  While illegal possession of a firearm remains a felony offense in this country, it offers little deterrence to a criminal looking to turn a fast buck.

What does your yard say about you? Keeping your property tidy can help eliminate your home as a target of opportunity, and more importantly keep your family safe.

5. Appoint a Safe Room

There should be one room within your own home that is designated as a Safe Room. Most families have discussed where to go in the event of a tornado or other devastating storm. Yet, equally important to your family’s safety is being prepared with a Safe Room should you or family members suspect an intruder is in your home. Ideally you will want to exit your home if at all possible; though a backup plan is necessary in the event escaping is not an option.

Select a room where you are able to receive a good signal on your cell phone. It also needs to be a room with a heavy duty locking door. Because you should also choose a room without windows, it very well may be the same room you would retreat to in the event of a storm.  It is also important to note that if you need to call 911 from a cell phone, the dispatcher will not likely be able to determine the address you’re calling from.  For this reason, write down your address and keep it close to a flashlight and fire extinguisher. Don’t assume you will be able to remember where you live if you are in a state of panic.

Having your address written down is also important for your children to be able to notify emergency responders where they are located. If you’re concerned your cell battery may be dead or low on a charge, pick up an inexpensive phone charger to keep as a spare in your Safe Room. You need to be able to call for help.

Taking steps to ensure you remain vigilant with your personal safety should become as habitual as taking out the trash or your weekly trips to the grocery store. It is not something you visit once and call it good. Make it a part of your family routine and feel confident that you’ve taken proactive steps to make your house a Home Sweet Home.

In this age of harried lifestyles it’s imperative to slow down long enough to put your personal safety first. All too often the “it won’t happen to me” and “I’m too busy” mentality takes over. Below you will find tips and precautionary measures to aid with your personal safety and security during the holiday season.

Are Your Hands Free?

This is an important question to consider prior to exiting the relative security of the shopping mall. Leaving shopping centers at night can leave you especially vulnerable. Often times, many of us will be laden with shopping bags, purses and children in tow, which makes an enticing target of opportunity for would-be attacker harboring in the shadows. Remaining alert to this vulnerability is key to your safety and security. When possible, keep all items in a shopping cart and use it to transport items until you reach your vehicle. Better still, if shopping with a friend or adult family member, have someone wait near the entrance/exit while the other drives back to the meeting location. This affords an opportunity to load the kids and purchases without over exposure to threats. Moreover, this brief separation of the adults provides over-watch of one another and enables one or the other to spot trouble and summon help, if needed.

In the event a physical threat materializes while your hands are not free your voice will become your best initial defense. First of all, make some noise! Screaming like a banshee at the top of your lungs will draw attention to yourself and the situation in progress. People can’t come to your aid if they don’t know there is a problem.

While you are screaming, unless your cargo includes a small child you should immediately drop whatever possessions are in your hands. Now is not the time to think of that collectible glass item  drop whatever you have so that you are unencumbered and make every attempt to break free of your attacker. Remember; plan ahead to avoid shopping during hours of darkness and unfamiliar neighborhoods when at all possible. Take the steps now to make your holiday shopping enjoyable and safe.

As tempting and flattering as that may be, you’re wise not to accept it. Unless you personally witnessed the bartender pour your drink and then you kept your eye on it from the time it left the bar until it was presented to you, politely decline the offer. If you know yourself well enough that you don’t think you would decline the cocktail simply because you don’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings, then accept it if you must; but do not drink it.

Don’t let your alcohol induced holiday spirit or diminishing bank balance cloud your judgment. Decide to follow this advice before you ever take one sip liquid cheer. While you’re tipsy it may be too easy to convince yourself that it’ll be okay, just this one time.

How many times have you left your drink unattended at the table while you went on the dance floor or to the bathroom? Please think twice before you do that again. Never leave your beverage unattended. Drink it before you leave the table; or simply get a fresh drink once you return.

Why is it important to have custody of the beverages you ingest?

Street Cocktails also known as Date Rape drugs include GHB, Rohypnol (”roofies”) and Ketamine (”Special K”) which are frequently used to create an environment favorable to the commission of sexual assault on unsuspecting victims. Victims may be rendered physically helpless without the ability to rebuff sexual overtures or recall the incident even after just a few hours. These drugs don’t contain any obvious smell or taste that would affect the appearance of your drink, which makes them undetectable and potentially very dangerous. Your best defense is to know what you are drinking.

Make a pact with your friends to watch each other’s backs and also keep an eye on their drinks. Be especially alert to any odd behavior exhibited by friends and know that they are watching for the same in you. Anyone exhibiting characteristics described above could pose a risk to you and themselves.

Drinking responsibly has taken on an additional meaning. Have fun; but be safe.

Here’s to a safe Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Parents need to be careful not to let their guard down or become distracted while traveling or attending public functions during the holiday season. Tim Kang, actor from the hit CBS show The Mentalist has partnered with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC) to help educate parents about what they should be telling their children to keep them safe while shopping and traveling this holiday season.

Parents need to talk with children about safety before heading out to a busy shopping mall or boarding a plane, train, or bus this holiday season. Crowds are greater this time of year and children may easily become separated from their parents, causing confusion and fear. If that should happen, parents need a plan and children should know what to do.

“Unfortunately many adults and children don’t know what to do if they lose each other in a public place or are faced with other unsafe situations,” said actor Tim Kang. “That’s why the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children is offering advice on how to remain safe and avoid panic and potential dangers.”

ALWAYS

• Keep children with you at all times while shopping.
• Accompany and supervise children in public facilities, including restrooms.
• Have a plan in case you become separated, including a pre-designated spot to meet.
• Teach children to look for people who can help, such as a uniformed security officer, salesperson or mother with children.
• Remind children to remain in the area where they become separated.

NEVER

• Dress children in clothing that displays their first or last names, prompting unwelcome attention from people looking for an opportunity to start a conversation with your child.
• Leave children in toy stores or public facilities expecting supervision from store personnel.
• Go shopping or attend a public event with a child if you feel you’re going to be distracted. Make other arrangements for child care ahead of time.
• Allow younger children to shop on their own to purchase surprise gifts for friends or family members.
• Drop off older children at a mall or public place without agreeing on a clear plan for picking them up, including: where, what time, and what to do in case of a change in plans.

If your child is flying or riding a train or bus alone this holiday season, NCMEC urges parents to remember the following travel safety tips:

• When you make reservations for your child, specify that the child will be traveling alone.
• Whenever possible, book a non-stop flight or direct route. Avoid booking the last flight of the day.
• Plan to visit the airport, train or bus terminal prior to departure. Let your child know what to expect, so the experience will not be so intimidating.
• In case of delay or cancellation, remain at the station or gate until the train, plane or bus departs.
• Make sure children travel with proper identification and parents or guardian contact information.
• Always have a back-up plan for the person or people meeting the plane at the destination, in case they are delayed.
• Encourage children not to become too friendly with other passengers or to reveal any personal information.

Yet consider how many people talk (or text) while walking.  Would not the same distractions apply?

Far too many people have a false sense of security when they talk on the phone while walking across campus, parking lots or strolling for exercise.  How can you possibly have keen domain awareness if you’re yapping on the phone?  You can’t.  You may feel safer with someone on the other end of the phone but you’re actually putting yourself in more danger.

There is a win/win solution –

Get your friend or loved one on the phone and provide details as to your whereabouts.  But then rather than continue talking, merely keep the line open, phone in hand at your side and walk to your destination.  This provides a much safer opportunity for you to be aware of your surroundings and notice any lurking threats.  Should you need any assistance, you already have a direct connection to someone who can get emergency personnel to you.

Now that you know the potential dangers, are you willing to try this method of walking and not talking next time you find yourself traveling by foot?

Awareness without action is worthless. – Phil McGraw

Light At Night

All too often we try to find the parking place closest to the store. However that is not necessarily the safest place. Most parking lots are (or should be) well lit. If at all possible, park next to the light post. This serves three useful purposes. First, it will give you a reference point when returning to your vehicle. Secondly, it will provide illumination for you to quickly and safely enter your vehicle; and lastly, any would-be attackers do not want to be seen. They are far less likely to target a vehicle under a light.

Back In Drive Out

Sure it may be easier to pull into a parking space; however it’s safer to back in. Take few extra moments back in so that your departure will be quick and effortless. If you encounter anything suspicious or out of the ordinary in the parking lot, you want to proceed to your vehicle, lock the doors and exit the premises as quickly as possible; backing in allows you to do so.

In Open Air, Remember Where

Whether in a shopping mall or mega store with multiple entrances, it’s easy to become preoccupied on your way out of the store. Prior to entering the building, make a mental note of your parking space and its relation to the door you enter. If you don’t exit through the same door you’ll not only have a harder time locating your vehicle, but you’ll also increase your vulnerability since you will likely have a longer trek to your vehicle. The shortest route between two points is a straight line, albeit avoiding obstacles and threat areas. If you find yourself having to walk around the side of the building in order to return to your origination point, you are more likely to become preoccupied with locating your vehicle – a major distraction that lowers your vigilance to the surrounding area.

Ignore Bad Manners

We have all experienced a greedy driver ’snake’ into the parking space you were patiently waiting for.  No doubt that it is frustrating. However rather than escalate your blood pressure over it, take a deep breath and simply look for another parking place. Odds are the spot you were waiting for wasn’t near a light post or wouldn’t have afforded you the opportunity to back into it easily. Rather than let it rob you of your joy, move on and look for a better more suitable parking spot.  Be Safe!

One Man’s Opinion

Most men have been programmed from an early age to take on the role of gatekeeper—the first and last line of defense between social delinquents and a host of other threats to our families and loved ones.   As men we’ve been taught—and have often demonstrated—that generally we are physically stronger that our female counterparts, and in line with these teachings, real men have come to know that it is unacceptable to force ourselves physically on women—instead, we protect them from harm.

However, this manner of preparing a young boy for his role later in life can lead to conflict and confusion.  Take for example a boy who comes home after school from a day of being bullied, or perhaps had a scuffle at the local playground over use of a soccer ball.  The child might remain aloof and venture directly to his room to avoid socializing with other family members.  This can be due in part from embarrassment from the shiner, or lingering anxiety from the encounter.   Enter conflict and confusion.

Mom sees this as an opportunity to engage school officials about the unacceptable behavior of an isolated group of pupils and demand that corrective action be immediately taken.  Dad on the other hand is prepared to enroll his son in a Tae-Kwon-Do class and after six weeks of instruction, is prepared to drive his son to the very playground where it all started and seek out the little social misfits so his son can dish out oriental-style vengeance.

Of course, a more rational approach is a combination of both viewpoints; learning to negotiate a non-violent conclusion, while at the same time mastering the skill sets needed to defend oneself when the situation clearly dictates the need to do so.

Adopting a “Flight or Fight” mindset might seem as a foreign way of thinking for some, and in fact many men will not accept it as feasible.  For them standing ground and taking an offensive posture is the only way to confront threats, and violence often is the end result.

There is one important matter that should be considered when adopting this approach to problem solving—that is, you are unlikely to carry out your role as ‘gatekeeper’ if you are seriously injured or incarcerated because you chose to fight without giving full consideration to your options.

When a threat materializes and options to disengage or turn-the-other-cheek no longer exist, then fight like a caged lion.  Your survival is of paramount concern.  By this I mean you have every right and responsibility to deliver enough violence to eliminate the threat from all quarters.   Just remember, until such time as all avenues of escape are closed, a strategically acceptable course of action is to walk away and continue preparation to fight another day.

Your family is counting on you and your father will be even prouder of the man you have become.