Cautious or Complacent Parenting
I cannot begin to tell you how many people think I am over the top ridiculous with “this security stuff.” Most think I’m being paranoid; whereas I assure you it’s using caution where my personal safety and those of my love ones are concerned.
I don’t post pics of my minor children online; I rarely use their real names when referring to them, but rather if I do refer to them in any social networking I will mention them by their nicknames. I finally conceded and allowed my teen to have a Facebook page but I ensured it was all set to Friends Only and all privacy and security settings were intact. Both of my children are martial artists, achieving black belt rank by age 12. I don’t allow anyone to go into a public restroom alone, not even my teen. Same goes for walking anywhere alone: whether child, teen or adult, it’s just not smart. I keep the doors of my home locked all the time, whether I’m home or not; I strive to not be time and place predictable … and the list goes on.
I have family, friends and acquaintances who frequently roll their eyes at me or make fun of what they refer to as my over protective parenting. On the contrary, I am raising them to be well adjusted, smart adults who make wise decisions.
It’s an attitude of complacency that can be harmful or worse yet, lethal. Ask any parent of an abducted or attacked child – do you think they ever had an attitude of nothing harmful will come to us? Perhaps, but for those families, they can’t unring the bell nor put the toothpaste back in the tube.
What about you? Are you cautious or complacent?
Sticks and stones … but as for me and my house, we’ll Ayers on the Side of Caution.
well I’m there with you and all you have to do is ask my precious DD and she’ll say I’m overly protective…fine…least I know she’s safe.
She does not have a FB yet and thankfully doesn’t want one.
No pics online of her and nobody other than close friends even knows her name which is never used online either.
Daily predictable schedules don’t occur even on a ‘normal’ day around here.
I’m totally with you on this!
Agreed.
Take it from me; I was molested about twice a week from age five to about nine. If only my grandmother had the same sense of healthy caution that you do Laurie. She trusted our neighbors!
The way I look at it, allowing abduction or molestation is a mistake I can not afford to make with my son. If I hurt someone’s feelings, tough crap my son’s intact.
As a young man my past adversely affected my ability to live and grow confidently in the world. I was an active (oh boy was I) addict and alcoholic until my recovery at age 36. At 52, I still have to manage this issue daily.
I was always a terrible student and used my street smarts to get me through school. I read my first book at age 37 and still catching up with grammar as a writer. My grandmother was illiterate and sent me to the neighbors to help me with my homework. While there, the neighbor’s son age 17 would take me up to his room. His mother was unable to climb stairs. Only recently did I realize the connection between learning and being molested. Unconsciously I may have oppressed my natural curiosity to learn because my mind remembers the learning process as a traumatic experience.
Now I’m a paralegal when I should have been a lawyer. Though I survived, that is a mistake I can not make with my son.
Thank you Laurie
George