I asked Kent R. Jones, Executive Director for Operations, Defensive Countermeasures Institute to be a guest blogger today because I know that some (many) men have a hard time with the issue of personal security and crime avoidance.  You fellas tend to translate this vital topic into “stuff that women need for self defense”.  While that is true to some degree, crimes and victimization know no gender.  So guys, this one is for you: to the guys… from a guy.

One Man’s Opinion

Most men have been programmed from an early age to take on the role of gatekeeper—the first and last line of defense between social delinquents and a host of other threats to our families and loved ones.   As men we’ve been taught—and have often demonstrated—that generally we are physically stronger that our female counterparts, and in line with these teachings, real men have come to know that it is unacceptable to force ourselves physically on women—instead, we protect them from harm.

However, this manner of preparing a young boy for his role later in life can lead to conflict and confusion.  Take for example a boy who comes home after school from a day of being bullied, or perhaps had a scuffle at the local playground over use of a soccer ball.  The child might remain aloof and venture directly to his room to avoid socializing with other family members.  This can be due in part from embarrassment from the shiner, or lingering anxiety from the encounter.   Enter conflict and confusion.

Mom sees this as an opportunity to engage school officials about the unacceptable behavior of an isolated group of pupils and demand that corrective action be immediately taken.  Dad on the other hand is prepared to enroll his son in a Tae-Kwon-Do class and after six weeks of instruction, is prepared to drive his son to the very playground where it all started and seek out the little social misfits so his son can dish out oriental-style vengeance.

Of course, a more rational approach is a combination of both viewpoints; learning to negotiate a non-violent conclusion, while at the same time mastering the skill sets needed to defend oneself when the situation clearly dictates the need to do so.

Adopting a “Flight or Fight” mindset might seem as a foreign way of thinking for some, and in fact many men will not accept it as feasible.  For them standing ground and taking an offensive posture is the only way to confront threats, and violence often is the end result.

There is one important matter that should be considered when adopting this approach to problem solving—that is, you are unlikely to carry out your role as ‘gatekeeper’ if you are seriously injured or incarcerated because you chose to fight without giving full consideration to your options.

When a threat materializes and options to disengage or turn-the-other-cheek no longer exist, then fight like a caged lion.  Your survival is of paramount concern.  By this I mean you have every right and responsibility to deliver enough violence to eliminate the threat from all quarters.   Just remember, until such time as all avenues of escape are closed, a strategically acceptable course of action is to walk away and continue preparation to fight another day.

Your family is counting on you and your father will be even prouder of the man you have become.