Did curiosity win out causing you to enter the room in an attempt to uncover the mystery? Consider the following the next time this occurs.
1. No matter how careful an intruder is, he is bound to leave something disturbed that a security minded person will seize upon on immediately. It may be as subtle as tracking fresh grass clippings to the threshold of your front door, clearly you would never leave such a mess, or, perhaps the presence of a foreign fragrance that is not your own. In each instance, your senses are working overtime and with practice, you can learn not to ignore them.
The first step involves the understanding that we adapt to our environment, and this adaptation is an instrument of our survival. From use of our senses we are able interpret sight, sound, taste, touch and smell. Once stimuli is identified, we process the information and place it into two categories, Threat and non-Threat.
A problem occurs when we are unable to recognize stimuli or we improperly categorize the information, e.g. the fresh grass clippings at the threshold. Clearly, in this instance we must conclude that someone unbeknownst to us has waltzed across our freshly manicured lawn and has at least proceeded as far as the front door to our home. Continue reading
Hate to disappoint, but lies come in two forms – lies of concealment, or omitting information, and lies of falsifying information. Regardless, if your intent is to mislead others by what you say or don’t say, then it still qualifies as a lie.
I’m not referring to the little white lies that everyone tells. And if you truly believe you don’t tell white lies, you are lying to yourself. Rather, I’m referring to any lies that are offered up in an attempt to get something or to avoid some form of punishment.
Consider this: You got online for just a quick minute this morning and before you knew it, time got away from you which caused you to be late getting to work.
You tell the boss you “were stuck in traffic”. Clearly that is falsifying information and is a lie.
But what if you merely told your boss “traffic was heavy this morning”? It may be a true statement. Traffic usually is heavy if you travel during rush hour. But the truth is you omitted, or concealed, the fact that you were on Facebook and didn’t allow enough time to get to work on-time. You’re still guilty of lying because you intentionally wanted your boss to think you were late because of traffic. Continue reading
Detecting deception, or learning to tell if someone is lying, is a fascinating craft to study. I am absorbed by the science behind behavior, micro-expresssions and emotions. There are a number of cues, both nonverbal and verbal to look for when you’re trying to determine if someone is being truthful.
No one red flag should be taken as a sign that there is a lie in progress. It’s important that you have a baseline (how the person normally behaves) and that you look at a cluster of indicators before making any deductions. One rub of the nose may merely mean there is an itch; a clearing of the throat could simply mean a frog. Don’t jump to conclusions.
The information below is focused on one small verbal aspect to consider when lie spotting – that is the use of contractions. I’m not talking about the baby labor kind of contractions but rather the grammar ones – specifically a shortened version of the written and spoken forms of a word, syllable, or word group, created by omission of internal letters: didn’t, I’m, I’ve etc.
Contractions are common and we use them daily. “I didn’t eat those m&ms, yet I still can’t fit into these jeans.” Liars are less likely to use contractions. They’ll be adamant about professing innocence and may be a little melodramatic. An innocent person may tell you, “No, I didn’t go into your purse.” Whereas one putting on a performance and who may be angry he’s being questioned would more likely say, “I did not take any money from your wallet!”
- “I did not have sexual relations with that woman… Miss Lewinsky” – Pres. Bill Clinton 1998 Continue reading